2017

'''I don't know if you'll recall, but a certain someone was elected to a major office in 2016, and after a year, I kinda lost it. Enjoy.'''



In lieu of Thoughts and Prayers, you may send prescription medications of all types in innocuous brown paper packaging to Rob Martin, care of Midvale Convalescent Home, Peaceful, VA 22222.

From Jack...

So, my dad's Chrismas letter was a bit weird. I told him I loved it and that is was funny even though I didn't actually think that. It was..... special? Yeah, ...special.

-

Only 3 years until 2020…

The Martin family wishes you the warmest holiday greetings filled with the laughter of children, the smells of pine and juniper, the tweeting of birds, the… tweeting of… I’ll tell you what you can do with your tweets!..., no. No.

Sorry, let’s start again. We hope you have festive gatherings of family with the delicious aromas of holiday feasts – roasted turkey, buttery biscuits, delicious baked pie… Pai! You know with Net Neutrality having been NEUTERED by this most ridiculous PAI! wait! Wait. Calm…

Sorry again. I’ve been working at the government… and with a therapist… for a while now, and; haha; there are just certain words that kind of… uh, distract me? It’s just a temporary thing, she thinks. Nothing a little Zoloft can’t take care of with a little Prozac on the side. And some ether.

Anyhoo, we got off on the wrong foot. I didn’t mean to bring politics into this Joyous Season! It’s like letting the Fox into the henhouse. Haha, the Fox. Fox, don’t get me started on #$%ing Fox!

Whooooooo. Inhale. Whoooooooo. Exhale. Focus on the breath. Serene. Serene.

I’m not doing a very good job here. You know I could always just put these letters on the Internet. Let everyone look at them there. martinchristmasletters.wikia.com might even be a good place to put all the old letters. And looking on the Internet is so calming. When you’re not dealing with Facebook Trolls or Fake News Bots FINANCED BY RUSSIA!!!!

Wha? Who? Where am I? Sorry I blacked out for a moment there. You know Jean did a pretty great job of summarizing the great year we’ve had, despite… well, (you know what) on our lovely cards. You can see our happy faces from a happier time (anytime before this). You can even see Scout, our little golden doodle on the stamp! Aww, who’s a good boy?

I guess it’s easy to get all caught up in the issues of the day. Maybe this is what we need. More Puppies and family pictures. I mean family trumps almost everyth…… aaaaaaaaaahhh aaaahhhahhhhhhAAAAHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

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